You've been appearing way too much in my dreams now.

Not that I'm complaining. =')

Are you trying to tell me something?

First I dreamt you were with us.

Then I dreamt that our family (except daddy) is on our way to board the plane to Korea.

Now I'm waking up crying in tears because I dreamt you only had a day with us. And in that dream we didn't really get to spend much time together as a family, and you disappeared the next morning.

Its been awhile since I've really cried for mom.

I've been thinking about her a lot when I'm attending classes now. 

I wonder why?

Halfway daydreaming and mom will suddenly come into thought.

You know,
The main reason why I actually got Kiki and Kiko is so that I won't be sad all the time.
And so that I won't get lonely at home.

I'm afraid I'll forget what she sounds like.

='(

She'll always call me and asks me stuff like "Suelin, when are you coming back?" or "Suelin, why are you not studying?"

She's the healthiest person on earth.

She doesn't drink.

She doesn't swear.

She doesn't gamble.

Till' now, I'm still finding it hard to believe mum's not here anymore.

She has done nothing but help and care for people around her.

THEN WHY THE FUCK IS SHE NOT HERE ANYMORE?

My mom is like a fucking saint and now she's gone.

In less than 10 months.

I'm sorry mother.

I know how much you disapprove of my swearing.

But still...

I just can't understand how the big guy runs things up there.